The His Review:
40 years has passed since the events at Eel Marsh House and now, during WWII, a group of children and their school teachers are about to settle into the old haunted house. LAME!
I won’t make this very long because it just isn’t worth it. I left this movie about 1 hour into it because it was that bad. The Woman in Black 2 is a sequel to a movie I didn’t care for in the first place. These “PG-13″ horror flicks as of late where the same crap is recycled just isn’t scary. Not to mention that the movie hardly tries to scare us anyways. Loud noises and people jumping into frame are overdone just aren’t scary. Maybe for a 13 year old! So many of these lame horror flicks are made and I keep yawning through them hoping for a miracle. I want a movie that paints a picture. I want a movie that gives me chills. I want a movie that shows me what I’m suppose to be afraid of early on. This whole 20-30 minutes of “developement” time at the beginning of these movies is annoying and unnecessary. GET TO THE POINT AND SCARE ME!!!!! If not 1 single famous face can be seen in this movie (not even B or C actors), than you know its bad. Don’t even consider this!
3/10 Stars – Not scary, and when it tries, it’s the same lame crap recycled.
The Woman in Black 2 doesn’t deserve a review especially considering I don’t have much to add beyond what my other half has already shared. The Woman in Black 2 isn’t a horror film at all and ends up being more of a comedy because every time it tries to scare you it makes you laugh instead. If you follow our blog regularly you know that I am not a huge horror film fan. I appreciate the intelligent ones, this is NOT an intelligent one. It tries hard to offer a compelling story and to weave the horror into that but it fails miserably. Things jumping out at me and scary music, well the music wasn’t that scary, doesn’t a horror film make. The acting is poor. The scares are non-existent. Don’t bother seeing The Woman in Black 2. If you must watch the first one but stay far away from this pathetic sequel.
3/10 Stars – Laughable….seriously people were laughing in the theater!
Debonair art dealer and part-time rogue Charlie Mortdecai is in more than a little trouble…on top of owing the government a hefty some of money he has been tasked by the British Mi5 to recover a stolen Goya painting. The painting is a hot commodity, being of interest not only to the art world at whole it is also highly sought by an angry Russian, a sneaky American and a global terrorist. It is up to Mortdecai, with a little help from “his manservant” and his stunningly beautiful wife, to locate the Goya in order to save his hide. Starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, Jonny Pasvolsky, Michael Culkin, Ulrigh Thomsen, Alec Utgoff, Rob de Groot, Guy Burnet, Jeff Godlblum, Paul Whitehouse, Norma Atallah.
Mortdecai showcases Johnny Depp’s deft ability to immerse himself in a character but the film itself has a bit of an identity crisis leaving it in a rather awkward position. Mortdecai is one of those films that has been massively advertised and sadly some of the better moments were revealed in that advertising. Key thing to know is that this is not a comedy, well not in the traditional sense. It is kind of a spoof, kind of a satire but not sure which and over all its just strange.
Truth is Mortdecai isn’t a great film. It has a few good moments. Those moments do NOT include the running joke of the mustache which I didn’t understand or find entertaining in the least. The relationship between Mortdecai and his manservant provides the initial entertainment but gets old fast since the joke is repeated more than a few times. The best part of the film for me was the art mystery. It isn’t a brain burner of a mystery but it is entertaining and it unfolds nicely. To be honest that plot element was pretty much the only thing that kept me interested and the only reason the rating for Mortdecai is as high as it is.
Mortdecai certainly isn’t Depp’s best film nor will it live long in the cinema world for lack of anything truly interesting about it but it wasn’t a complete dud in my book unlike so many other films out there that attempt similar quirkiness. I will say however that if you are looking for strange and funny just grab a copy of The Grand Budapest Hotel from 2014 it will satisfy your movie craving and be extremely entertaining at the same time.
6/10 Stars – Depp delivers but the film doesn’t so it is very lopsided.
This movie is just plain dumb if you ask me. I know it is a tounge-in-cheek don’t-take-yourself-seriously type of movie but I at least want it to be funny! Most of the story is Johnny Depp running around whining to his “man servant” while everyone around him scratches their heads at how stupid he is. I will give props to Johnny Depp as he is one of the most versatile character actors around. He plays the crazy and strange quite well. In a weird way, Mortdecai tries to be like Johnny English or Mr. Bean, but Rowan Atkinson is simply better at these types of roles. The “mystery” that is inserted into the story isn’t even that interesting to hold it afloat. Sadly the only thing likable about Mortdecai is Jock the man servant, and he is abused throughout… like us having to watch it.
5/10 Stars – Only funny moments involve Jock… otherwise it’s annoying and lackluster.
Doug Harris (Josh Gad) is a dorky but lovable guy who is about to marry the woman of his dreams but there is one problem – he has no best man. He has no grooms men for that matter because he has no true guy friends. To save face he lies to his soon to be bride Gretchen (Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting) giving her names and backgrounds for each of the guys that are complete fiction. In desperation Doug reaches out to Jimmy Callahan (Kevin Hart), owner and CEO of Best Man Inc., a company that provides best men for socially challenged guys in need. It is up to Jimmy to pull off the impossible in less than two weeks. Co-starring Affion Crockett, Jorge Garcia, Dan Gill, Corey Holcomb, Ken Howard, Colin Kane, Cloris Leachman, Jenifer Lewis, Alan Ritchson, Mimi Rogers, Aaron Takahashi, Olivia Thirlby.
January comedy releases don’t often hold much promise. The Wedding Ringer lives up to the stereotype for the most part. It has its moments to make you laugh but it won’t go down in the annals as a comedy great.
The problem with The Wedding Ringer is its premise. If you red the plot summary above you were probably thinking to yourself, hmm this sounds familiar. Well that’s because it’s a very similar premise to the 2009 comedy “I love You Man” starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Where “I Love You Man” offered comedy and meaning, The Wedding Ringer falls short in both categories but mostly in the meaning department. The Wedding Ringer does play out as more of a guy’s film than a comedy meant for us gals. I found parts of it humorous, not funny just humorous but perhaps other parts would be better appreciated by the opposite sex.
Gad and Hart do play well off one another. Sometimes I can find Hart’s comedy to be a bit much so I felt like Gad’s gentle, innocent, dorkiness tempers Hart’s crazy behavior nicely. The other characters are just to weird for words. I mean the group of actors/guys that gather for The Wedding Ringer’s “golden tux” is just way too outlandish. I mean I kept asking how can Callahan not have a connection to one normal guy…I mean seriously. That would have helped things a bit story wise if not EVERYONE was so insane. Sometimes with comedy you can take things too far and I think that was part of the ultimate downfall for The Wedding Ringer.
Now seriously though The Wedding Ringer isn’t all bad. I wasn’t bored to tears and I did laugh a few times. It does fit the bill as January comedy but compared to some of the other movies coming out right now this one might actually shine.
5/10 Stars – Best of some bad movie options assuming you have already seen all the Oscar nominated films.
The Wedding Ringer is exactly what you expect it to be. It’s a stupid, ridiculous, moronic comedy about men who can’t tell the truth. If Doug had just been honest with the woman he planned to marry, we wouldn’t have wasted 100 minutes of our time, but no, he has to lie about the existence of 8 men who he has to make up within 2 weeks. This movie is forgettable and really not that funny. Sure it has its moments and the characters are likable, but these men are so stupid that you can’t help but shake your head. The only positive thing I can say about this movie (and I’m kinda shocked) is the ending. This movie isn’t as predictable as you might expect, so if you watch it, the ending might save it for you. However, don’t see this movie. There are far better comedies out there. Not to mention the cussing is out of place. It is everywhere and doesn’t make anything funnier. Just don’t.
5/10 Stars – The ending might not be predictable, but the movie is dumb and semi-funny.
When a single, hard-headed, and stubborn woman by the name of Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank) is given the task of transporting 3 mentally ill women across the Western Plains, she realizes that her trip might be more difficult than she expected. Looking for any help she can get, Mary “recruites” the assistance of Mr. George Briggs (Tommy Lee Jones) who is a low-life thief that many want dead. Together they face many hardships and hurdles as they make their way to Iowa where the 3 women will be cared for.
The Homesman, like many before, is a western that focuses more on the relationships of people and the need they have for each other. The acting by Hilary Swank and Tommy Lee Jones is very well done and the 2 have good chemistry together. If it weren’t for these 2, I probably would have lost interest halfway through simply because this story doesn’t have enough going on. In a nutshell, it is a journey where 2 people have to learn to trust each other if they are going to survive (as well as their cargo). The idea of the movie sounds good, but the execution is where it suffers. The side events that occur throughout their trip are often pointless or unnecessary. I felt like many of the events were just thrown in the movie to extend the main idea (the trip) and by the time the trip was over, we were exhausted. I usually like these kind of westerns where the land and scenery are a major focal point, but at the end of the day, the chemistry of Swank and Jones aren’t enough to keep me from wanting it to end soon rather than later. Co-starring Grace Gummer, Miranda Otto, Sonja Richter, and Meryl Streep.
5/10 Stars – Swank and Jones are great together, but sadly the rest of the movie just seems to drag out way too long.
Mr. Turner is a British biopic about the famous painter J.M.W. Turner (Timothy Spall) who lived from 1775-1851. This movie focuses on the later years of his life and shows us the impact his father’s death had on him. In a nutshell, Mr. Turner is a 2.5 hour movie that tells the tale of William Turner.
If you are a fan of British history, puffy shirts, accents, bad teeth, BBC, or Downton Abbey, than this is the movie for you. What often feels like a made-for-TV movie, Mr. Turner is simply a story about an odd man’s life. He has a maid who he exploits and a secret girlfriend who no one knows about. He often destroys his masterpieces when on display and even ties himself to a mast on a boat in order to know how to paint a snowstorm. Even though in my eyes Mr. Turner is a snooze fest, the one thing about this movie that is worth watching are the visuals. The setting, costumes and character depiction is perfect in creating 1800 England. I’m not surprised at the Oscar nominations this movie received for design. Also, Timothy Spall does a very nice job in the acting department. The man has creeped me out since he was in Harry Potter so I feel praise might be a bit much for playing another weirdo, but he does a fine job.
At the end of the day, Mr. Turner is for artistic people and Brit lovers. Anyone else who sees this will often wonder where the story is headed and then simply not care when it reaches the next scene. It is long and unnecessary and about halfway through you realize there isn’t much this movie has to offer.
5/10 Stars – Mr. Turner has little direction other than to tell a life story. It is long and boring, but pretty to look at.
The His Review: 40 years has passed since the events at Eel Marsh House and now, during WWII, a group of children and their school teachers are about…
Her Review: Debonair art dealer and part-time rogue Charlie Mortdecai is in more than a little trouble…on top of owing the government a hefty some of money he…
Her Review: Doug Harris (Josh Gad) is a dorky but lovable guy who is about to marry the woman of his dreams but there is one problem – he…
His Review: When a single, hard-headed, and stubborn woman by the name of Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank) is given the task of transporting 3 mentally ill women across…